Renaldo's holiday adventures: New Years!
by Sono of the Sun
Summary: The first in a year long series on a certain Vasto Lorde visiting the human world to Celebrate the various Holidays. The first adventure is to New York to See New Years in Time Square. May the lord help those there when he arrives..


The realm of the Vasto, a place deep inside of Hueco Mundo, was a quiet place with many high mountains around it. These mountains were made of a stone that was unable to be gripped by those who's reiatsu couldn't rival that of at least a captain, which meant most hollows outside of that of the Vastos could climb into the land surrounded by them. Even then, the Vastos were stronger than even those few hollows, meaning that the most powerful of the Menos sub-forms had complete privacy from the other Menos and lower hollows. That said, it didn't mean there was anything to do after a thousand years besides hanging out and sparring.

The Vasto Lordes consisted of around 10 members at this point in time, for the other 5 had gone on to join some guy who was to give them "ultimate power." But of these ten, only 5 are noteworthy powerful in the old tales, and of those five, there was one who was even more powerful. Of course, there use to be two others that could come close to his power, but hey, they went off with the weird guy who promised power, so they were no concern.

That Vasto was Renaldo Decasha, though Renaldo was the preferred way of addressing him or, as his ego extended it to, the Supreme King of Chaos Renaldo, the one that will destroy you all and take the world into Chaos.

Renaldo was a handsome hollow, in a sort of dangerous and evil way. His mask grinned all the time, his eyes slanted permanently at an angry angle. While the left side of his mask was decorated by a fire-like pattern, his right side had three marks slashed vertically across his right eye, one side black, the other one crimson. His skin was black, except for his shoulders of course, which were crimson and which made a fire pattern as it intersected the black. His nails were sharp and cruel, his fingers long and able to grasp much. He wore a sleeveless sort of overcoat, with it covering his chest and abs before splitting out to the sides. The ends had a black fire pattern upon it as well. His pants were crimson and puffed out a bit, but not as much as another hollow he knew.

That certain hollow, Jamicana Nalalad, was bugging him on newly constructed stone chair, talking about going to the human world to a place called "New Dork" where they would celebrate a new year or something like that.

"Come on Renaldo-san, it will be fun!! There are all sorts of sights and sounds and people will be everywhere. Their won't be one unoccupied square inch!! We could blend in and absorb everything."

As Jamicana spoke, his Tiki-like mask seemed to quiver in excitement, its big eyes growing larger, his nose…well, coming closer and closer to Renaldo ever moment.

"And it will be more fun if you come with me. You're the most wild of us all, so I think you would have a good time partying with me."

Renaldo focused his eyes upon Jamicana's own. "And what if I am content on staying here and just sleeping in this comfortable chair I have built. I mean, you have no leverage."

At this, Jamicana smile seemed to widen, which was hard to do for him especially. "Then I will get Delana-chan to come and spend the night with you."

That got Renaldo's attention, enough to make his nearly-permanent scolding eyes becoming one of surprise and fear. Delana Dreadwards was the only female Vasto in the top five and she was obsessed with Renaldo in a sort of "I WANT YOUR BABIES!" sort of way… Which was bad for Renaldo since he had no desire for her nor any other female.

"Oh, you got a deal, let's go to New Dork to do this."

"its New York."

"Ok, whatever let's get going."

And so Jamicana and Renaldo left the confines of the Vasto Valley and opened a Gargantuan to the real world, right over time square.

* * *

Renaldo looked down in amazement at the number of people were below him, a number he had never even imagined could gather in one place. And the most amazing thing, no hollows were around, nor were there an army of shinigami around. Maybe one or two, but they were most likely local shinigami, nothing too special.

"How is it that there isn't a single low-level hollow here to devour people?" Renaldo asked, actually curious on the matter.

"I'm not exactly sure of how it works, but the shinigami have made shield around major population areas during certain times to help keep the low level hollows out. It doesn't work on Menos, of course, but there is no reason for any Menos to choose a human over another hollow."

"Ah, I see. Well, what are we going to do here. I mean, eating a human sounds good right now, since I would have a good choice, but besides that, what is there."

"Well, we will fly down and taste the food and drink around here." Jamicana replied, flying down and landing in a nearby alley that wasn't too crowded. Renaldo followed. Around them were a few low-income humans, most likely bums. One of them looked at Renaldo funny, as if he could actually see him.

"Hey bud, look somewhere else." Renaldo said, his scowl becoming deeper. The man's face raised into surprise as he hit his buddy in the shoulder.

"Mac, Mac, wake up man, I got another one of those illusions in front of me he…" The man tried to finish before Renaldo had grabbed his face and lifted him up. The other drunk bums looked in horror as this guy next to him was being lifted by some strange force, his face contorted strangely.

"I am no illusion human." Renaldo said, before crushing his skull in his palm.

Jamicana looked in horror as Renaldo killed the poor bum.

"Renaldo-san!!! We aren't here to kill people, we are here to have FUN!!!"

Renaldo looked at Jamicana, a bored look on his mask. "And I don't like people who look at me as if I'm some sort of apparition."

"Well It's not his fault he could see you without me working my spell!!! So STOP IT FROM NOW ON OK!!!"

"Fine, fine, just let the rest see me, alright."

"Fine." Jamicana said, before waving his hands in the air. The other bums looked in horror as two creatures were before them, one with an evil look, the other a lot more comical, with his huge parachute pants and clown like shirt.

"Hello people! You saw nothing out of the ordinary today, I assure you. Your friend busted his head on the wall!" Jamicana said, over-exaggerating his emotions like normal. They all nodded their heads, and continued nodding them, as the pair walked off.

The two arrived at Main street, though it was hard to move through the amount of people around, though none of them paid them any mind especially since there were plenty of other people in a few even more ridicules' costumes. Renaldo was truly in wonderment with the lights around him, the billboards, the moving pictures. He had never thought anything like this could exist in the world. He left a hand touch him on his shoulder, snapping him out of his daze. It was Jamicana, two hot dogs in the other hand, one half eaten.

"Try it Renaldo-san, your first food in New York."

Renaldo took the strange object in his hand. Chili ran from the back end, relish heaped on it, as well as some sort of cheese, some white, others yellow. Renaldo opened his mask and took a huge bite. As soon as he took it, he spat it out, with around a 1/8 of the rest of his stomach contents.

"What is this, grind up organs of some overly fed creature covered in an artificial covering and sold for an astonishing price."

"Bingo. They call it a hot dog."

"Well, if they actually used REAL dog meat in it, it would have been a lot taster."

A few people were shocked as Renaldo had stated this, many appalled, two on the brink of vomiting, and another running at him, his face flushed.

"How dare you say that!! Dogs are not food, they are reliable pets!! How can you even think of something so Barbaric."

Renaldo looked at him strangely, before smiling a bit. "Well, have you ever had some dog? Oh sure, it was hard eating my own pet, but after the 39th time he had shit on the floor, I decided, lets make a stew out of him. I felt bad for about a day after that, but then once I got into the left overs, I found out that dog was better as a food source than any pet. My motto, "Mans best food."

Jamicana shook his head, hitting his forehead with his hand. The man was shocked beyond anything else, his face going green. "h.h..h..how… yo..you..you're a mon..mon..mon.."

"What? A monster?"

"Yes."

Renaldo laughed a deep hardy laugh that caught many people's attention, who tried to move away as fast as possible, so evil it sounded.

The man also tried to step back, but was caught by Renaldo before he could get away. He leaned down into the man's ear, still smiling even greater than normal.

"I'll tell you a little secret. I am one. SO, drop dead for me."

At that, Renaldo stood back up and flicked the man in the head. Anyone around would see the man fall unconscious, but the man was truly dead, the skull shattering from the inside, destroying his frontal lobe, but not even breaking the skin a bit. Renaldo walked away, his grin still larger than normal, Jamicana following, though not happy about it.

"So, Jamicana, I tasted this horrid food, now what?"

At this, Jamicana's once destroyed spirits rose again. "Well, I will undo the spell, and we can watch the show from in the air. It will be great. And it will be happening in about a minute."

"Alright, let's see this show then."

Jamicana undid the spell, a few people wondering where the strange figures before them had disappeared to. The pair flew into the air, Renaldo and Jamicana right behind the giant digital cloack, though Jamicana was farther away than Renaldo.

"Only 15 more seconds before the show."

"Good, I can't wait."

And then it started. The people counted down, starting at ten. It was in time with the cloak, which was about to strike midnight.

"3….2…1"

A great blast of light and glitter hit Renaldo, as well as a firework. He flew back around 20 feet, anger more defined on his face. Jamicana, though, was laughing his ass off.

"HAHAHAAHA!! That was amazing!!! I never thought you would fall for it!!!"

Renaldo wasn't listening.

"Damn human trick, I'll show you."

As another firework neared him, he batted it back with his hand, sending the missile at high speeds back into the crowds. It exploded, and the peoples cheers turned into screams. Renaldo continued finding fireworks and batting them towards the crowd, each time causing more death and destruction. He even started laughing as he aimed a few of them at certain sections of crowd, increasing the chaos. When the fireworks finally stopped, he fired a single cero, killing five people and wounding at lot more. The once scene of cheer was a scene of destruction and chaos, with Renaldo in the middle of it. Jamicana was behind him, his once look of triumphant one of disbelief.

"I'm never taking you to the human world again." He said.

Renaldo turned back and smiled.

"Oh, no, no, no, you are going to take me back to see more of these great holidays, every single one. And not even forever, just for a year, then you don't have to."

"And if I refuse."

Renaldo smiled greater.

"Then I'll come by myself, and then the world WILL really be in trouble."

And so begins Renaldo's Holiday Viewing Bonanza!!!!!!!

We are all doomed….


End file.
